Grieving with Grace

Sometimes, life throws you a major curve ball and knocks you right on your ass. Whether it is a devastating loss, a humiliation, or a deep hurt, life can often leave us reeling.

It is unlikely that anyone one of us will escape this life without experiencing grief at some point. It is very much a part of the human experience. It is the balance to the abundant joy we feel throughout our lives. It is as inevitable as breathing.

While this all sounds rather doom and gloom, I don’t say this to make you sad. I say it to make you feel safe because when you experience grief it feels anything but normal.

You can give yourself the gift of experiencing your emotions to their full extent and still come out on the other side. I know because I have been in the depths of mine and I have emerged stronger and healthier each time.

Sitting in Shock

In the moment, you may feel paralyzed. This is normal. Your beautiful brain is built to protect your feelings. So, things can take time to fully sink in. The side effect of this is that the pain may come in waves. Let it wave wash over you and feel your way through them.

If you must cry, cry. If you must scream, scream. If you can’t sit still because sitting still feels like prison, get moving (as long as it is in a healthy way).

When the tide ebbs, rest. Take a nap or a bath or phone a friend.

Avoid the Inevitable

It is natural to pretend a problem doesn’t exist or this tragedy is just a bad dream. It’s okay. Give your body and mind time to catch up to each other. This part will pass. Things will sink in. It will be hard but that is neither here nor there right now.

Getting Angry

When the realization of how life is now different, you may feel pretty angry. Your world has changed. You are allowed to be angry. Journal it out. Cry it out. Exercise to release pent up energy. As long as you are not physically harming yourself or someone else, keep on keeping on. Things suck right now and you are allowed to be mad about it.

Looking for a way out

By now, you may be bargaining with the universe to get back what you lost. I feel your pain, friend. Unfortunately, you cannot get things back. Deep down you know this. You may need some help getting there though.

Call a mental health provider. Scheduling an appointment with your therapist. Call your friends and family. Let them help you work through this painful stage of “what if’s”.

Feeling depressed

When the anger subsides, sadness sets in. Bump up your self-care routine. More journaling, more yoga, more hot baths.

Be open about your feelings with someone you trust. You don’t have to be alone. You are not a burden. You are a human feeling human emotions. Ask for help and accept it when it’s offered.

Accepting where you’re at.

Eventually, you will come to terms with the turn your life has taken. It’s time to make a plan for moving forward. How do you keep on living in this strange, new world?

Just because you’ve come to accept something doesn't mean you still can’t feel sad or angry or lost. You can still tap into your resources. You can still take care of yourself in whatever way you need. You can still lean on friends and family for support. You can still miss your old life. It’s okay. It doesn’t mean you haven’t moved on. It just means your human.

If you are grieving, I have you in my heart. If you need prayers or good thoughts, please leave your requests in the comments below.