Dating Myself...?
Earlier in December, I told you that I was dedicating every Wednesday for the month to taking myself on dates. It felt rather self-indulgent but I knew that I needed it. I needed to get back in alignment with the things I want out of life. And to do that, I need to shut out the noise of the world and spend a little bit of time on my own. I documented the journey and I’m ready to share it with you. I hope you’ll be inspired to take yourself out into the world and spend a little time in the discomfort of being alone. Who knows, you may discover something new about yourself!
Wednesday Dec 8, 2021
The Plan: I actually have a fairly big to-do list for today and there is a snow storm rolling in this afternoon. So, I am hoping to kill two-birds with one stone and take myself to Target. I have a list of household necessities to pick but I also want to stroll through the Christmas section - especially gift wrapping. I know not everyone likes to wrap presents but I actually do! I am no expert but I enjoy the process and enjoy making pretty packages to wow loved ones with!
To make it feel a bit more special, I plan on picking up a holiday Starbucks drink on the way home. At home, I will settle in for an afternoon of watching the snow fall, listening to Christmas music, and wrapping presents.
My goal is to put myself out there and push my own boundaries. So, this first date is definitely a little tame. but safety first, always. I want to be home before the snow. If weather permits, I’d love to stop for lunch out but I am also okay with kicking it at home!
The Results: Well, if this wasn’t divine timing! The CricutJoy I ordered on Black Friday arrived and after hitting Target early, I went home to knock out my to-do list and then got to spend sometime playing with my new crafting toy. I got all my presents wrapped and got all my Christmas cards ready to go in the mail. I watched terrible Christmas movies on Netflix and sipped a latte while I watched the snow fall. The two inches promised turned out to be more of a dusting that didn’t stick around long. It was a lovely, relaxing day and I went to bed feeling really accomplished. I’m going to call it a win. Although, productivity is not what I had in mind when I started, I’m happy with how the day went. And I definitely knew I wanted to focus more on doing something Christmas-y and fun for the next week.
Wednesday Dec 15, 2021
The Plan: The inspiration behind this December goal was actually today’s event. I’m headed to Victoria Mansion, a Portland historic landmark, to take in the Christmas decorations. I’ve wanted to do this for so long but never had anyone to do it with. I knew this was not something that would be terribly exciting for Thomas, either. So, it seems like the perfect thing. The whole point of this self-inflicted assignment is feel comfortable in my own company.
After the self-guided tour, I will head off in search of a cozy spot for a solo drink and appetizer. It’s been a long time since I sat in a restaurant by myself but I used to do it all the time.
The Results: Another change of plans. This time not weather related. When I told my mom what I had planned for the afternoon, she wanted to tag along. And how could anyone say no to mom time? We started our day by searching, in vain, for a dresser for her sewing room. Then headed out to explore the Victoria Mansion. This was an absolute gem of a experience. The pre-Civil War house was stunning and Christmas decorations were beautiful. The staff was knowledgeable and eager to share the story of this home. My favorite feature were the hand-carved Italian marble fireplaces in almost every room .
After the museum we walked along Congress Street and stopped at Ada’s for a pre-dinner snack of freshly bake focaccia. Then headed to The Little Tap House for an early dinner. Mom and I talked about my grief and all the ways this Christmas season would be different without Dad here to celebrate. It was a bitter-sweet reflection on many happy years we shared as a family. It felt good to talk about him. It was the first time I broached the subject of Christmas without dad and a reminder that it’s okay to talk about my grief.
Wednesday Dec 22, 2021
The Plan: Brunch and book browsing. This close to Christmas, I know things are going to be crazy. So, I’m keeping it casual with plan for a morning nosh at 158 Pickett St Cafe and browsing at Nonesuch Books. Just a cozy afternoon by myself.
The Results: I had a bit of a slow start to the morning. It was just one of those days. Work has been exceptionally hard as Maine faces it’s highest COVID case rates. This heavy work load took a physical toll on my body and rest was what I needed. So, I made breakfast at home before heading out to shop for books. I spent an hour slowly browsing the new releases, staff recommendations, and used book sale. I ended up with a book of poetry, a novel about a librarian, and a well-worn copy of a favorite book. At home, I settled in for what else? Reading, of course!
Wednesday Dec 29, 2021
The Plan: After the craziness of Christmas, I was ready for something really special. A truly pampering event. So, I booked myself a Japanese style foot soak at Soakology. Oh my, this place is just a dream. I’ve never been by myself before though. I cannot wait to reap the benefits on this adventure.
The Results: Oh. Mylanta. This was just an absolute delight. If you live nearby, treat yourself to some tea, a little alone time, and a nice soak. It was seriously heavenly. I recently worked with a Reiki practitioner who told me I needed to pamper my feet and boy did I ever. Not only did I enjoy this session, but I booked another for February.
Final thoughts
While I did obtain my goal of taking myself on four dates in December, I know I can push my own boundaries even further in the new year. On the 22nd, I really wanted to stay home and sink into that sadness I was feeling but I’m glad I stuck with my plan of getting out of the house. There is still more work to be done on my journey to get back to me but it’s all about those baby steps!
I feel like a solo day trip to Boston is not only in my future but just what the doctor prescribed! With a renewed sense of enjoying my own company, I’m read to hit the ground running in 2022.
If I’ve inspired you to take a little me time, tell me all about it in the comments below.
